It’s been a long time I didn’t write anything on this blog. I didn’t know why, but since last year I should do many things. At works, organization, family, friendship and love life. #azeg
Well, 2017 was a busy year. Works, storytelling activities and so on. And started this year, I want a “quite life” besides my job. Where I can sit all day, writing, reading or only watching movies. Well, we can have plans but sometimes it only a plan. Haha. In January, I plan that this year I will read 15 new books. But until this April, I read 2 new books. In reality, I'm still busy with works and any storytelling activities. And a Lil bit love story. Ahiw.
Since last year, I realized my mood swing is getting worst. At one time, I can be very happy, like in sugar rush phase. Then I can be very sad. I got panic and anxiety attack at random time. I got panic attack in my flight from Surabaya to Jakarta last November. I hardly to breath and tremor. Sometime I can't help crying. I got oversensitive for many simple things. I can't help my negative thinking. In summary, I have a terrible condition.
I met a professional to have a counseling and made my 'write to heal' more serious. I also met many people to help me to distract my negative thinking. I did many things only to make myself better. Sometimes it helps, but sometimes not at all. Sometimes I got frustrated with my own conditions. I want to feel better but I don't know how to make it.
Some weeks ago, I read a thread on Twitter. It said about "Cara Mengurangi Kecemasan di Tengah Ketidakpastian". You may find it on @AdjieSanPutro twitter account. After I read that thread, I found myself stuck in Adjie's account. He is an emotional healer. So you will find his tweets about anxiety, how to find our true happiness and many things that related to our emotions.
He has reminded me that we can't seek our happiness outside ourselves. The true happiness comes from within us. If we, or I can say Myself, seek a true happiness from outside or other people, worried we will fall into disappointment and unhappiness. Well, make sense. Because it happens to myself. I got super anxious if there were no people around me. So it's important to be happy even when I'm alone. It's important to stop seeking happiness. We are happy once we decide to be happy.
I tried to connect that statement to my condition. Many times I got the attack when I can't handle my negative thinking or uncomfortable event that punch me. And I'm too worried that there are no people that can help me. I only focus on people should help me rather than I should help myself. In my mind, I always think that people will take care of me once I got that attack. Huks. So I agree with Adjie, that happiness comes from us. We can’t depend on people’s existence to make us happy.
During my treatments, I’m trying to keep my write to heal session. Most of the time, I do it by myself. I’m trying to find my inner peace. I realized the important thing is self-acceptance. Well, I’ll talk it later about self-acceptance. :D
And if you also have the same condition with me, do not worry you’re not alone. Having an emotional disorder such as panic or anxiety disorder is hard indeed. Maybe as prevention, you can try writing to heal. In my case, WTH keeps me alive until now. But if you still feel burdensome, you can contact the professional. You can google it to find the best practitioners that will convenience you. :)
Well, 2017 was a busy year. Works, storytelling activities and so on. And started this year, I want a “quite life” besides my job. Where I can sit all day, writing, reading or only watching movies. Well, we can have plans but sometimes it only a plan. Haha. In January, I plan that this year I will read 15 new books. But until this April, I read 2 new books. In reality, I'm still busy with works and any storytelling activities. And a Lil bit love story. Ahiw.
Since last year, I realized my mood swing is getting worst. At one time, I can be very happy, like in sugar rush phase. Then I can be very sad. I got panic and anxiety attack at random time. I got panic attack in my flight from Surabaya to Jakarta last November. I hardly to breath and tremor. Sometime I can't help crying. I got oversensitive for many simple things. I can't help my negative thinking. In summary, I have a terrible condition.
I met a professional to have a counseling and made my 'write to heal' more serious. I also met many people to help me to distract my negative thinking. I did many things only to make myself better. Sometimes it helps, but sometimes not at all. Sometimes I got frustrated with my own conditions. I want to feel better but I don't know how to make it.
Some weeks ago, I read a thread on Twitter. It said about "Cara Mengurangi Kecemasan di Tengah Ketidakpastian". You may find it on @AdjieSanPutro twitter account. After I read that thread, I found myself stuck in Adjie's account. He is an emotional healer. So you will find his tweets about anxiety, how to find our true happiness and many things that related to our emotions.
He has reminded me that we can't seek our happiness outside ourselves. The true happiness comes from within us. If we, or I can say Myself, seek a true happiness from outside or other people, worried we will fall into disappointment and unhappiness. Well, make sense. Because it happens to myself. I got super anxious if there were no people around me. So it's important to be happy even when I'm alone. It's important to stop seeking happiness. We are happy once we decide to be happy.
I tried to connect that statement to my condition. Many times I got the attack when I can't handle my negative thinking or uncomfortable event that punch me. And I'm too worried that there are no people that can help me. I only focus on people should help me rather than I should help myself. In my mind, I always think that people will take care of me once I got that attack. Huks. So I agree with Adjie, that happiness comes from us. We can’t depend on people’s existence to make us happy.
During my treatments, I’m trying to keep my write to heal session. Most of the time, I do it by myself. I’m trying to find my inner peace. I realized the important thing is self-acceptance. Well, I’ll talk it later about self-acceptance. :D
And if you also have the same condition with me, do not worry you’re not alone. Having an emotional disorder such as panic or anxiety disorder is hard indeed. Maybe as prevention, you can try writing to heal. In my case, WTH keeps me alive until now. But if you still feel burdensome, you can contact the professional. You can google it to find the best practitioners that will convenience you. :)
Much love,
Liris
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